Searching For Something That Was Never There
by I My Me Mine
Summary: She was always waiting, protecting someone that would never return her feelings. She was searching for something that was never there; his love. Will kinship be able to heal the pain in her heart? Or will it make everything worse? One-shot.


Everyone in the world has at least one bad habit; Nail biting, pencil chewing, spewing little white lies whenever nervous or scared. My bad habit? I'm a little bit too..._overprotective _of the people that I care about, the people that I love.

I really do love him, everything about him. It's an honest, pure, indescribable love, not at all dirty like those horrid girls say it is.

Kagamine Len, the love of my life, the one person who I would be willing to die a million horrid deaths for. Unfortunately, he doesn't know that I exist. At least, he doesn't know me by my name, he knows me by the lies those dreadful girls have engraved into his mind. What does it matter to them if I do use cucumbers to pleasure myself? They're just jealous that I can shove something into myself while they get nothing, that has to be it; jealousy. I bet they do it in secret but are just to chicken to admit it.

They say other things too, like calling me a stalker. So what if I 'stalk' him? It's not like I'm doing anything immoral, I'm just watching him from a distance to make sure he's safe, to protect him. Being a little bit overprotective never hurt anyone, right?

We both had one thing in common, the thing that got us to meet; stalking. No, I'm not speaking of my love, he would never do such a thing; he has yet to love someone as deeply as I love him. I remember the day that I met that other man quite clearly. I had caught him, caught him stalking that twin tailed beast that was always a bit _too _close to _my _Len. Is it surprising? I don't think so. Then again, Taito had a way of always catching people's attention, even if it was for a split second, he always caught it.

He wasn't that startled to see me stare at him, as though he had been caught in the act so many times that to be caught yet again was no big deal. The one thing I remember the most about that day was the way he would gaze at the beast that clung to my love, laughing with him when that should've been me. At that moment I asked myself, 'do people see that look in my eyes as well?' Even though it was strange, scary possibly, I somehow felt...comfort. Maybe that's what gave me the courage to introduce myself, the fact that I somehow felt comfortable around him. After introducing myself, I stopped trying to speak to him; he wasn't listening.

I didn't stop seeing that boy, even after I left that place. After that, I seemed to see him more wherever I go, as though he had always been near me. Maybe my darling was blocking my vision of others?

I would spot him even when I was keeping track of my beloved, making sure that other girls would leave him alone. What? I never said I allowed those disgusting beasts to get near him; I just pushed them away quietly, where my love could never hear a thing. No, I wouldn't harm them. Although I love knifes, I detest murder; ironic, isn't it? Regardless of what I did, I would always see him, always find him staring at that wicked monster; _Hatsune Miku_.

Taito, he's such a caring guy, having a big enough heart to be able to love such a deformed creature that should have never been born. It felt, in a way, as though he were my twin, treating that brat the same way I treat my angel. That's why, after a while, I began to seek out his friendship.

It was strange, feeling a need to be with someone who isn't my precious.

I don't know how it happened. Life is so strange, feeling as though it's going by so slowly but then feeling as though it went by too quick. Somehow, it happened, Taito and I became friends; best friends even. I had learned so much about him. He was bullied, much like myself, but not as much as I was; it was probably because he's so quiet. It was no wonder I never noticed him, since he prefers to hide in the shadows and silently watch life play before his very eyes. He not only hurt the people that came close to the beast he loved so much, but also himself. Yes, it's just as you think, he cut himself.

To describe his feelings at that moment, I would use these words: sad, depressed, melancholic. It's a wonder how one person can hold so much pain and love in their heart, to the point that he would inflict pain upon himself to ease the never ending surge of emotions. In his world, a dark, ominous, empty place where chaotic beasts seemed to tear the flesh off of his inner most being. The beast, the horrendous monstrosity with long teal hair, was his sun; the only ray of light in that pitiful world.

The day he told me all of this, of his feelings towards everything in and around him, I felt my own feelings twist into different emotions. I hate her, I will always hate her, for always being around my love regardless of how many times I try to push her away; and let me tell you, I am a very stubborn person. I felt...well...I felt that feeling I always feel whenever I see other women lay their dirty hands on my beloved; I felt jealous. Not just that, but something far worse. In a small, _very _small piece of my heart, I...I was thankful, thankful that she kept Taito alive. Thankful that...that she brought him to me.

Is it possible, that as I held him in my arms to assure him he was no longer alone, that my feelings began to change?

I...I don't know. Regardless of my feelings that seemed to have been affected by this bandaged man, time continued moving on; everything changed that day.

Since we had established our mutual friendship, our special bond, we began to protect one another. It was as though, in a sense, I found another piece of me that I never knew I was missing. We would do everything together; eat, walk, even sleep over each others houses from time to time. I showed him the few friends that had accepted me for who I am, and he showed me his family that loved him regardless of the things he did. It was perfect, but not quite.

You see, we were still in love with the people that had stolen our hearts. My love for Len had never ceased, and Taito's love for that monstrosity seemed to somehow remain. Knowing this, I begun to hate her even more, for reasons I myself couldn't fully comprehend.

That girl, that horrid _horrid _girl. It was as though she was made to take everything away from me; my love, Taito, the popularity that I would've had if she never existed. I hate her; I hate her so much, I hate her to the point that I sometimes contemplate chopping her to pieces with my precious butcher knife. Alas, I could do no such thing. I hate murder, remember? Plus, why would I soil my perfect blade with her tainted blood?

Months had passed since Taito and I had first met. Months since we began to protect not just our loved ones, but each other. One day, all those months ago, we were celebrating our one year anniversary of friendship. It was that day, that lovely dreadful day that something terrible happened.

Did I ever mention how clumsy Taito is? Well he is, very much so. It was a wonder how one man could be so agile, yet so prone to falling on his own two feet; such an oxymoron.

On that day, as we shared a vanilla cake with butter cream icing together, he stood up to get us some refreshments; he fell. No, he didn't fall on me like the men in those dramas, he didn't hurt himself either. Fortunate for both of us, I had quick reflexes, picking him up before he could fall. Isn't that what I had been doing all this time? Holding him up so he wouldn't fall further into despair, having to depend on that atrocious beast as a life line; since when had I cared so much for another male?

It was then, as I held him in my arms and felt his hot breath on my lips, I began to forget everything. It was so strange, my world going black until the only thing I was able to see, to breath, to hold onto, was him; only him. I forgot everything that wasn't Taito; where I was, what I was doing, the beast….my love…I forgot him, I forgot Len. At that moment, the only thing I felt was his slightly chapped lips on mine. Simply that, and nothing more…nothing more….

I kissed him, and to this very day, I still don't regret my choice. I gave my own first kiss up, to someone that wasn't him; to someone who wasn't Len.

I shattered it with my own two hands, everything I had believed in. I thought, always thought, that Len would be the only man I could ever love. But then, as I stared into the abyss of his deep violet irises, I realized it; Len no longer was the only man in my heart. There was another person, and that person was the man I had become so close to, the only male that could possibly understand me more than anyone; Taito.

I destroyed everything, the moment I separated my lips from his; from that blissful kiss that I can faintly feel to this very day. He forgave me, called it an accident. Was that all it was? An accident? A mistake? Something that was never meant to happen? Possibly. It changed everything, the moment I tore everything I believe in apart. I put a strain in our relationship, one that was very difficult to heal.

It's a complex thing, to have two humans occupying your heart rather than one. Did you ever feel it? If you did, maybe you would understand my pain. The worse part of it all, the crushing realization that kiss gave me, the realization that neither of them would ever return my feelings.

Did you honestly believe that I thought, for even an instant, that Len would return my love? Of course not, I'm not an idiot. I know how he feels, what he thinks about me, and all the rumors he has heard; I know everything. I'm not hopeless like those pests that believe Len will someday love them in return; I know he has feelings for the atrocious monstrosity that somehow was able to take hold of his precious heart.

Maybe someday they'll look away from that harpy and notice me, notice that I've been here all along. Maybe someday Taito will kiss me back. Maybe someday…I'll finally be loved…

That's all, everything, now you know all the things that no one, not even Teto, Ruko, Ritsu, Rook, Miko, even Oniko know.

Thank you, for hearing me, for letting me say all the things that I had been trying to hold in; I hope I wasn't a bore.

Now, I must bid you adieu. I have to go meet Taito, in order to be able to continue protecting our loved ones. See you soon, okay? Good bye.

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><p>The girl, the one who loved so much to the point of insanity, will never be able to return to you. You see, she died, struck by a car, in a rush to not be late; to see the man that had claimed her heart without even knowing it.<p>

If only she asked, Sukone Tei would've discovered that he had loved her back; Taito had loved her back.

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><p><strong><em>A n:_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloids, Vipperloids, Pitchloids, or any type of Vocaloid.**

**Tei is one of my favorite Vipperloids, and I simply adore her being paired with Taito; I think it's cute and I'm surprised no one has written anything for the pairing. Ohh well, one of the greatest places to find a new pairing to love is here, so might as well show you all another lovable pairing. I really can't think of anything else to say other than have a good day and I hope you enjoyed this one-shot.**


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